Time Passages...
I went to a wedding yesterday for the daughter of a good friend, T. It was wonderful in every way. The bride and groom were beautiful and are so in love. The ceremony was conducted by the family pastor and was personal and meaningful. The small country church and community center were decorated in breath-taking fashion by family members. None of the hiccups in the details (and there were a few) were evident to any of the guests. There was a lot of love in that church and I am honored to have been invited.
When I was walking out of the church, I spotted a beautiful five-year old Chinese-born girl playing on the church lawn. I realized at once who she was - her mother, C, is a dear friend of the bride's mother, T. I was not good enough acquaintances with C to have told her of our decision to withdraw from the China program, so I steeled myself for the inevitable question.
It came at the reception. C and I saw each other almost immediately. She came up to me, grasped my hand and said, "How's the wait going?" This was the first time I had to explain to someone, face-to-face, our decision. And I did it. No hesitation. No tears. Only a slight feeling of regret (due to C's happy, friendly, beautiful daughter dancing nearby).
I got the question one other time that night, with the same result.
I thought about the meaning of last night for my friend T and myself. She gave her precious daughter away in marriage to a sweet and caring man. And I let go, finally, of the idea of myself as a mother to a daughter.
I am at peace. Jon and I made the right decision.
I wish many blessings on T's daughter and her husband as they begin their lives together.
